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A Definitive History of Evil Peacock
(Warning: includes geeky computer terminology)
December 30, 1973 : (Knoxville, TN) Evil Peacock is finally out of beta and is released into the world. The development team, mom and dad, are relieved that their second release is finally done and relatively bug-free.
1979 : Evil Peacock, still unaware that Disco exists, starts developing his gestalt. A few occasional crashes affect debugging, but overall he is functional.
1980-1988 : Evil gets into personal computers, starting with the Atari 800XL. His friends with Commodore 64s laugh.
1989 : Evil Peacock falls in love for the first time, which takes about a year to settle in and debug. Gestalt finishes major add-ons as part of the ongoing Puberty 1.0 upgrade plan.
Fall 1991 : Evil gets a Macintosh Classic and begins composing music with it and two tape decks. His friends with Commodore Amigas laugh.
Spring 1992 : Evil completes public assimilation at Bearden High School and prepares to receive his next major update. After graduation all links to his previous code are erased and a new improved API is instated for the upcoming development. All localized volumes are low-level formatted to accept incoming data and relieve the pressure of running crappy old software.
Fall 1992 : Evil begins work on his 2.0 update at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. Within days he begins networking with other units in a variety of ways. Evil changes his networking preferences to accomodate the new influx of data. Previously Evil had not allowed more than one or two connections, so this was a bit taxing for his primitive undeveloped networking kernal. Bugs and few crashes result, but after a year of intense work, he adjusts.
Fall 1993 : Evil gets a Mac LC475 at a decent student discount price. His friends with real Macs laugh. Evil continues composing, this time with digital audio and a 4-track.
Spring 1994 : Evil begins work with the Housing Development Team at The Evergreen State College on weekends for extra cash. He is supervised by Jumpsuit Boy. The two are assigned simple mundane tasks and allowed only soft rubber objects to avoid confusion and accidents.
Fall 1994 : Evil does 23 credits of work, of which he only recieves 16 (the maximum you can get per quarter). At this point Evil tires of the 2.0 development and wishes to move on elsewhere. Nevertheless he perserveres by taking on less credit. During this time Evil purchases more audio gear and gets more into MIDI.
Fall 1995 : Evil gets a Power Macintosh 8500/120. His friends with Macs follow him home and attempt to ambush him and steal it. Over the next year Evil purchases peripherals, software, RAM, and a decent monitor with the massive liquid cash he receives as one of the Development Leads at TESC Housing. He now works with Jumpsuit Boy instead of under him.
Spring 1996 : The final year of working on the 2.0 Evil OS update brings good times, hard work, and a break from previous years of torture. Evil completes development on schedule, wrapping up the code with some unexpected surprises.
He recieves his Golden Master CD-ROM on June 14. All is well except that the documentation is in .PDF format which means that Evil has to run ATM all the time (it hogs RAM and makes audio programs gack).
Summer/Fall 1996 : Evil completes work with the Housing Development Team, leaving the Linen 2.5 kernal complete and totally PPC native. In winter he briefly returns on commission to fix bugs and revamp the kernal for the new upcoming Housing revision. For the last time, he bids farewell to Jumpsuit Boy, Rasta Hacker, Polyester Woman, and his main development supervisor, P.U.T.Z.
Spring 1997 : In an effort to establish a higher conciousness, Evil agrees to move into a house with The Prophet Elias, Rasta Hacker, and a crazy old coot called Vern Peanut. Despite Vern's constant retching, Rasta Hacker's caffeine and beer injections, and The Prophet Elias's tequila bathes, Evil survives.
Tuesday, March 25, 1997 : While eating handfuls of chocolate chip cookies, Evil stays up late writing a definitive chronological history for his web page bio even though he knows it's a gross and gratuitious misuse of his personal web site.
Sunday, May 2nd, 1998: Evil Peacock completes his relocation to Seattle Washington where he freelances through several temp agencies.
September, 1998: Evil Peacock accepts a job at Weber Marketing Group as a graphic designer.