Created in 1995 as an alternative to the popular Windows and Macintosh operating systems, The Jumpsuit OS has recieved almost no national recognition and minimal fanfare. Still, the small number of users have reported great success using the operating system, comparing it to the awesome power of the Logestar 6K and the sheer inventiveness of the obscure Evil OS.
Revision 1.0 was a rough patchwork of code, providing a framework for the current 2.1 revision which boasts full compatibility with all significant hardware. The Jumpsuit OS 2.1 allows a more customizable environment, including a new "Processor Slack" feature that allows you to select the amount of processes to "waste" on simple things like calculating pi in the background or scanning the net for web pages with lots of hi-res jpegs on slow servers. The Slack feature runs all the time, no matter what you're doing. Try it while working on those 300dpi 24-bit color photos in Photoshop and you'll see the disk cache efficiency drop by at least %50. This in turn makes the user have to wait more often, promoting trips to the fridge, bathroom, or neighbors. It works and we're proud of it.
Nerd Berg (Chief Officer of Development and Donuts) has worked long and hard with the coding team to bring you this exciting 2.1 release. We've also thrown in some nice new features that we know you'll all love. Here's a list of new stuff:
- Processor Slack API and control panel
- Improved crashes with new "Screen Cheese" video crash algorithm
- "Sticky Windows" that pull down and never go away
- Random restarts with configurable control panel
- Scheduled trash backups
- Random icons and color depths
- Improved code, hardware support, and reliability
- Improved support applications like Jumpsuit Draw and Paint
Here at Jumpsuit Technologies we're proud to code and compile the Jumpsuit OS, and each revision is painstakingly tested and supervised by Jumpsuit Boy himself. Jumpsuit Boy is Chief Scientist and Technology Supervisor here at Jumpsuit Technologies, providing that human touch that makes our GUI the worst in the business. We are proud to report an increased quarterly income based on the growing popularity of the Jumpsuit OS, and we look forward to bringing you more in the future.
President and CEO
Jumpsuit Technologies , Inc.
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