Jumpsuit Boy — The Official Fan Page

Frequently Asked Questions

Version 2.0

Created and modified by Eric A. Peacock
Send questions, info, and anything else that is JSB to the above address

Q: Who the hell is Jumpsuit Boy?

A: Jumpsuit Boy is many things. A spring breeze, a dash of Cool-Whip on a pork chop, a slow leak on a faucet, a faulty smoke detector, or occassionally very drunk.

Only a handful of individuals have ever seen Jumpsuit Boy. Most of these individuals are reserved about sharing the miracles they have seen.

There is no explanation for Jumpsuit Boy.

Jumpsuit Boy simply exists and the world is better (or worse ) for it.

OK, OK. Jumpsuit Boy is a mysterious individual who happens to be seen most frequently roaming the campus of The Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA. It is here where he attained various college degrees and worked for college Housing as the "Auxillary Lead". He has since gone on to become a "campus honcho" and works for the institution itself doing god knows what. Nobody knows if this is really true, but then no one has disclaimed it either.

Jumpsuit Boy has also been frequently seen on the internet, sometimes in several places at once. He has an affection for computers which would explain the existance of the highly obscure Jumpsuit OS

Q: What the hell is the Jumpsuit OS?

A: The Jumpsuit OS was designed to fall somewhere between and below popular consumer microcomputer operating systems such as the Mac OS or Windows.

Jumpsuit OS doesn't even work, which is the point. It offers many features never before seen on an operating system, such as the inability to empty the trash/recycling bin. The idea here is that you will always have everything no matter what happens and if for some reason your hard drive gets full you buy another one. The build- up of trashed files also allows a user to accumulate an impressive collection of each and every version of an application as well as the installers, the original compressed download, and any updaters as well. While seemingly problematic, this is really a great way to organize files and applications and keep a complete backup. They're always in the trash, what could be more simple?

Another feature of the Jumpsuit OS is that it will not run without a minimum of 256 megs of RAM, a Pentium III or G4, and a copy of a copy of the original system install.

Other features include:

  • preventive multitasking
  • weekly crash scheduling via a control panel with a randomïnetwork failure option
  • version 2.1 includes a new customizable interface (requires an additional 32 megs)
  • direct connection to the popular but unkown P.U.T.Z. Network (however, nobody can find the IP when they need to log on)
  • online help (not for the OS, but if you ever need to clean a carpet or wax a floor you're set)
  • Jumpsuit Speak, a new technology that randomly babbles things like "10+40 equals Owen", stories about army buddies that may not have existed and other sayings that are directly affected by the users state of consiousness in relation to alcohol consumption
  • There is also a coupon for an official jumpsuit free with each purchase of the "pro" version.

    Q: How can I meet Jumpsuit Boy?

    A: There is no guaranteed way. Jumpsuit Boy is very independant, and except for a pager, he is almost unreachable. Despite this, there is one individual that has been known to know the dark secrects pertaining to Jumpsuit Boy. His name is Maxwell Crain and you'll just have to let it go at that. Maxwell has as low of a profile as Jumpsuit Boy himself.

    On another note, Jumpsuit Boy seems to appear everywhere as this testimony shows:

    I think you should know that Jumpsuit Boy may be living downstairs from me. We've had a string of neighbors, and I swear JB (or at least his twin) may be in the current batch! I'll keep you posted.

    Sophie Ramsey

    Additionally, Jumpsuit Boy has been at Macworld Expos in San Francisco, visiting as Chief Scientist and mascot for Jumpsuit Technologies. Careful observers at future Macworlds may be fortunate enough to spot him. However, actually engaging in a conversation with Jumpsuit Boy is a difficult matter, and virtually impossible if alcohol has been consumed.

    Q: What is the reference to the jumpsuit?

    A: When seen, Jumpsuit Boy has been known to wear a thick blue maintanance jumpsuit of the blue collar sort. He has been known to wear this suit for months without changing into a clean one. Scientists say that he only sheds his jumpsuit when the weather warms up or when he is about to mate. No one knows if he wears anything under the jumpsuit, which we can't discuss here because I wouldn't want some poor little kid to stumble across this page and read something that would expose them to a discussion of underwear and personal preferences which could lead to some kind of subversive lifestyle.

    Q: What exactly does Jumpsuit Boy look like?

    A: Depending on who you ask, he appears in slightly different forms. Look for knives, an egg-shaped head - freshly shaved with a goatee or beard and of course a jumpsuit. You can go here to access the archives of anthroplogical photos of Jumpsuit Boy. The author, Evil Ugly Peacock, wishes it to be known that he is NOT Jumpsuit Boy. Jumpsuit Boy is someone Evil used to work with.