Created and modified by Erogenous Peacock
Send questions, info, and anything else that is JSB to the above address
Q: Who the hell is Jumpsuit Boy?
A: Jumpsuit Boy is many things. A spring breeze, a dash of Cool-Whip on a pork chop, a slow leak on a faucet, a faulty smoke detector, or occassionally very drunk.
Only a handful of individuals have ever seen Jumpsuit Boy. Most of these individuals have kept quiet about the miracles they have seen.
There is no explanation for Jumpsuit Boy.
Jumpsuit Boy simply exists and the world is better for it.
OK, OK. Jumpsuit Boy is a mysterious individual who happens to be seen most frequently roaming the campus of The Evergreen State College in Olympia, WA. It is here where he supposedly works for college Housing as the "Auxillary Lead". Nobody knows if this is really true, but then no one has disclaimed it either. Anyway, Jumpsuit Boy has also been seen on the internet, sometimes in several places at once. He seems to have an affection for computers which would explain the existance of the highly obscure Jumpsuit OS.
Q: What the hell is the Jumpsuit OS?
A: The Jumpsuit OS was designed to fall somewhere between and below popular microcomputer operating systems such as the Mac OS or Windows 95. Jumpsuit OS doesn't even work, which is the point. It offers many features never before seen on an operating system, such as the inability to empty the trash. The idea here is that you will always have everything no matter what happens and if for some reason your hard drive gets full you buy another one. The build- up of trashed files also allows a user to accumulate an impressive collection of each and every version of an application as well as the installers, the original binhex download, and any updaters as well. While seemingly problematic, this is really a great way to organize files and applications. They're always in the trash, what could be more simple?
Another feature of the Jumpsuit OS is that it will not run without a minimum of 64 megs of RAM, a 68030 or better, and a copy of a copy of the original system install.
Other features include:
- preventive multitasking
- weekly crash scheduling via a control panel with a random network failure option
- version 2.1 includes a new customizable interface (requires an additional 32 megs)
- direct connection to the popular but unkown P.U.T.Z. Network (however, nobody can find the IP when they need to log on)
- online help (not for the OS, but if you ever need to clean a carpet or wax a floor you're set)
- Jumpsuit Speak, a new technology that randomly babbles things like "10+40 equals Owen" and other sayings that are directly affected by the users state of consiousness
- and much, much, more!
There is also a coupon for an official jumpsuit free with each purchase of the A/UX version
Q: How can I meet Jumpsuit Boy?
A: There is no guaranteed way. Jumpsuit Boy is very independant, and except for a pager, he is almost unreachable. Despite this, there is one individual that has been known to know the dark secrects pertaining to Jumpsuit Boy. His name is Maxwell Crain and he is reachable at firstname.lastname@example.org. Maxwell Crain is capable of answering most questions about Jumpsuit Boy, but he has to be in a good mood first. Feel free to try anyhow.
Q: What is the reference to the jumpsuit?
A: When seen, Jumpsuit Boy has been wearing a thick blue maintanance jumpsuit of the blue collar sort. Jumpsuit Boy can wear this suit for months without changing into a clean one. Scientists say that he only sheds his jumpsuit when the weather warms up or when he is about to mate. No one knows if he wears any underwear under the jumpsuit, which we can't discuss here because immoral offensive discourse is illegal on the web. I wouldn't want some poor little kid to stumble across this page and read something that would expose them to some kind of devilish lifestyle.
Q: What exactly does Jumpsuit Boy look like?
A: Depending on who you ask, he appears in slightly different forms. Look for knives, a shaved head, and of course a jumpsuit. You can go here to access the archives of anthroplogical photos of Jumpsuit Boy.